if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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