I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
