It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
The best revenge is premature balding
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
