UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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