Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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