I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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