Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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