yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Randomize
