I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
