Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I bet he comes in French.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
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