Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Randomize
