I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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