CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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