I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
