is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
True but thats because hes a fetus.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Randomize
