At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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