I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Come see our sink grown plant.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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