she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize