is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
