I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
