I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
