O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
tell your sister to shave her snatch
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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