I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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