it wasn't lemon gatorade
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
