do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
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