Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
