you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
