i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I am one with the molecules
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
