There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
