I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize