So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
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