You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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