we have officially lost it.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
