so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I'm both gender and math confused
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
