The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
