good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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