How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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