You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Is it penis luge time yet?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
The feeling are messing with the penis
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
