so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
