RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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