i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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