I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize