she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
