His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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