Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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