If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
