For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize