Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
