plz talk dirty to me
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
This toilet bowl is my home.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
