i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
