too bad you live with your parents still
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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