Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
my shit smells like andre
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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