at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Randomize
