It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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