my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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