so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Randomize
