Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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