Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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