you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize