would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
