just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
