what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
