3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
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