Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
