My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize