if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
