Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
